Dolphin Tuesday - Well, I really need to find porpoise in my life!

This is probably my best poem ever!
Even better than the one about Elephants, which I haven't posted yet.


A Sense of Porpoise.
©Poobah 2010


A dolphin was swimming the ocean blue.
He was bored and he didn't have much to do.
He'd eaten ten mackerel and fifteen cod fish,
A whiting, five herring, he burped - made a wish.
He desperately yearned for a Māori tattoo.
But where could he get one?
Not here in Corfu!

A tatt black and swirly,
Upon his blue skin,
Would look rather splendid
(and reel the girls in)
So he swam to New Zealand,
A long journey, he knew!
To seek out a way,
For his wish to come true.

Now life's what you make it.
Grab it tight, by the throat!
Our intrepid young dolphin,
He soon saw a boat.
They were fishing for tuna,
The sea was quite rough.
He was knackered and hungry,
Not cautious enough.

He got caught in the fishing net,
Hauled up on deck
The Japanese Captain said "Oh flippin' eck,
Not another damn dolphin,
I'm over me quota!"*
For the dolphin's well being
He cared not one iota!

He bit the Jap Captain
Hard on his right hand!
The Captain yelled "Banzai!"
And screamed the command:
"We'll eat that damned dolphin
For dinner tonight!
It'll be the best meal,
For the last damned fortnight!"

So the cook, who was Māori
And wore a Muumuu,**
Took the dolphin to the galley
And started a stew.
"Don't eat me!" said the dolphin
"I do like your tatts!"***
But all the cook heard was "Ak ak ak eek ak!"

*translated from the Japanese
**Before you say it, I know Muumuu's are Hawaiiann not Māori!
***Translated from the Dolpinese