The Life of Brian

A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just  going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian!”

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's  a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along  when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Brian Sullivan,  every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few  clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was  a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He  could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and  danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the  piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he  was something really special."

Cabbie: "There's more. He  had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday.  He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse,  and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do  everything right."

Passenger: "Wow. Some guy  then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in  traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get  stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really  knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never  answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was  always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect  man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to  Brian Sullivan."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you  meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian.

He  died.

I'm married to his f***in' widow."