Bored with Facebook
A poem by Poobah
Facebook is busy,
It's speed really stinks!
No friends click on 'Like' now,
When I post a link.
I used to play Farmville,
Then Mafia Wars.
But I've found that they're pointless,
And terrible bores.
I know, I'll learn knitting,
And maybe crochet!
Create nice ceramics,
Or go write a play.
I could take up painting,
(Maybe Cathy would help)
Or Texan Toe Wrestling.
Or cooking with kelp!
I might become famous!
Like Grouse, or J-Lo!
Appear in OK,
Or even Hello!
Or celebrity Big Brother,
With Vanessa Phelp*.
But I think that's now finished.
Oh God, I need Help!
It's all total rubbish.
I'll burn my TV!
To be honest there's f**k all,
That I want to see!
I've no patience with hobbies.
I hate to play games.
I don't want to be famous.
My life's just so lame!
Oh so much self pity!
You must think me a jerk!
I'll turn off my computer,
And get back to work.
*s
Tuesday, 31 August 2010
Thank crikey, I'm FREE!
I got kidnapped. Sorry. It won't happen again.
Not really. I'm just lazy.
Have a free haiku:
Oh bugger, I'm late
I've been away from my blog
For far too long now!
Friday, 9 July 2010
A couple more Haikus
(Both for Tootsie)
Oh furry rodent
You lie in your wood shavings
Though Blogless no more!
Haiku very much
It's a a pleasure to be back
In the Blogosphere.
Oh furry rodent
You lie in your wood shavings
Though Blogless no more!
Haiku very much
It's a a pleasure to be back
In the Blogosphere.
I need more followers!
Yes I do!
Everyone who follows me will receive by email a FREE Leonard Gubbins Jpeg that I nicked from his blog - or - a long distance mind massage from the Amazing Kreskin. Please specify your preference when following me.
Everyone who follows me will receive by email a FREE Leonard Gubbins Jpeg that I nicked from his blog - or - a long distance mind massage from the Amazing Kreskin. Please specify your preference when following me.
Hello again, naturally.
Hello my dear friends.
I'm sorry for my unannounced absence but I had to spend a few months dead for tax reasons.
In the immortal words of Gary Barlow, I'm back for good.
I'm so 'bigged up' (as the yoof would put it) that I have decided to write my first ever Haiku!
Poobah is back now
For good he tells us today
More crap will appear
I hope you like it.
See you all soon.
XXX Poobah.
I'm sorry for my unannounced absence but I had to spend a few months dead for tax reasons.
In the immortal words of Gary Barlow, I'm back for good.
I'm so 'bigged up' (as the yoof would put it) that I have decided to write my first ever Haiku!
Poobah is back now
For good he tells us today
More crap will appear
I hope you like it.
See you all soon.
XXX Poobah.
Sunday, 9 May 2010
The Life of Brian
A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian!”
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian.
He died.
I'm married to his f***in' widow."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian.
He died.
I'm married to his f***in' widow."
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